Tinta Jiwa di Raudah

Taken on March 6, 2024.
Thanks my aunt for this pic.

 

Tinta Jiwa di Ka'abah

 

Thank you Ummi for the picture.
Taken on January 10, 2023.

Adieu, 2022!

Hello, there!

Wow, it's been ages since I last visited this blog. If this was an apartment, it would've been filled with cobwebs and thick dust already. Nevertheless, since I have no intention to extend my stay here, I'll just sum up my entire year in 12 sentences - one for each month. So... ready, get set, rewind!

I became an emcee for a wedding reception.

I self-published my third literary work.

I voted.

I joined a public iftar after three years.

I presented special cakes for Teachers' Day.

I enjoyed my annual pilgrimage to the bookland.

I watched badminton legends in action.

I shared writing credit with our National Laureates.

I celebrated my cousin's wedding.

I used my brand-new passport on my own.

I voted (again).

I entered the world of a painter.

There you have it! All in all, it was quite an eventful year and I feel extremely grateful that I've managed to get through another hectic period of time. Let us hope 2023 would bring a much better experience for every one of us.

Chao!

2021: Kilas

Walau terlalu kincup senggat, namun setiap darinya yang berdua belas secara berseluruh menakung tadah ungkapan sepatah cuma.

Sleeplessness. Anxiety. Counselling. Recovery. Acknowledgement. Celebration. Spectating. Vaccination. Transitioning. Employee. Presence. Reassurance.

Much like everyone else (I assume), the past 31.5 million seconds have been one heck of a roller-coaster ride - & by that I mean we probably ended up barfing at some point of it. Sure.. we managed to get through it but the after-effects are still there, demanding us to carry them halfheartedly as we crawl into a new territory. Nonetheless, our collective perseverance will never fade away because it’s always been a fragment of our inner nature. To quote His words, “Indeed, We created you in the best form” (95:4). Don’t worry, we’ll prevail.

To those whom we had to bid farewell unwillingly, they won’t just be parts of a measurement or mere numbers in a statistic. They were reflections of who we are as human beings - a reflection that will continue to resonate as long as we let them take up a teeny-tiny space inside our mind and heart. They will continue to exist as long as we exist.

Derap yang nun hadapan sana tiadalah yang tahu ke mana sudahnya. Namun, oraknya kita akan senantiasa bercantum dalam pisah yang sementara. Selagi aku yang sini dan kau di sana bertembung pandang tak kira izhar mahu pun andai (serta diselit jeling-Nya jua), hikmahlah yang pasti berdampingan.

2021, kau bukanlah gila - kau hanya terpalit sisa peranda.

2020: The Longest Decade

Telah terlalu bercapuk dan kusam.

Begitulah kiranya tiga-enam-enam hari yang sudah.

Gegak dan porak yang segala menghendap serang dari setiap penjuru tanpa ada walau secubit pun sela untuk kita menaiki dan menuruni nafas. Tiada yang terhindar daripada jeda yang tiba-tiba dan memaksa. Namun, pasti jua ada lompang yang kita cari agar bersua dengan jernih riang. Gundah dan gemala acap kali berseli-selang, berseteru untuk memacak pasak dalam minda dan jiwa ini.

I self-published my own poem collection. I fell off a bike during a heavy rain. I got a gig for that teacher from Oh! My English. I spent many sleepless nights drowning in paranoia. I self-drove and travelled to new horizons. I struggled with panic attack twice. My literary passion received global recognition. I had to make a quick dash to the E.R.

I felt like a loser. I thought I've succeeded. I felt like a failure. I felt like a winner. I thought I was gonna die. I've never felt more alive. I felt like a loser.

These past 8784 hours haven’t been easy to everyone. We dealt with one pop quiz after another – quizzes that questioned our faith, strength, and vulnerability like never before. Did we ace those tests? No one knows for sure, but the most important thing is we went through all of them and in the end we’re still standing. We survived. That itself is an achievement.

Ayuh, marilah sadurkan yang capuk dan kusam itu dengan mulusnya putih. Perlahan-lahan, lenyapkannya dari indera pandang. Moga kulit baharu ini kekal murni dan hanya meriah rona pelangi yang menjentiknya.

That’s it for 2020 – the longest decade ever.