Khilaf

Bismillah...

(Sebahagian besar atau keseluruhan coretan ini adalah dalam bahasa Inggeris. Harap maaf andai ada yang tidak memahaminya.)

First of all, allow me to emphasise the following statement which will be the main key of this so-called article:

"I am tired of being afraid with other people's perception & judgement."

So, shall we begin?

The last few months hadn't been on my side. And it happened for a good reason.
My bad.
Sendiri yang silap, sendiri yang tanggung.
Serves me right.

I have proven myself to be one of the worst son a parent could ever bear.
I have proven myself to be one of the most useless friend a person could ever have.

Luckily for me (but sadly for them),
I have the best parents in the world.
I have the most awesome friend in my life.

But I'm just a jerk,
For dragging some of them into my troublesome, self-made error.
They might say, "whatever happens, we'll go through this together."
But man, that sense of guilt. It's just overwhelming.

Time to be honest.
Mungkin ada yang kata, "tak patut buka pekung di dada."
But hey, it's better to admit the mistakes, & learn from it.

I'm coming out of the closet.
And by that, I didn't mean to confess about my sexual orientation.
Na-ah.
It's just about my failure. Or should I say 'failureS'.

I failed miserably by the end of my PASUM days. In other words, gagal keluar.
Entering IPTA? Say goodbye to that.
My alternatives? A-Level or Diploma in IPTS (or selected IPTA with frequent Diploma intake).
And looking at the current prospects, diploma is my only way to enter uni life. For sure, it won't happen any time soon.

The key factor to this misery is merely the fact that I was overshadowed.
By my failure to obtain straight A's during SPM.
Being an almost perfectionist when it comes to study life, that was a really humbling lesson. I learn that we won't always win.
But I just drifted away with the frustration. I couldn't find a way to cope with it.
I was too busy searching for freedom from those issues that I found myself drowned in it.

I feel like giving up. I feel damn useless.
I'm letting my lust to overpower my rational thinking. And it's something I totally ashamed of.

And currently, I'm still struggling to find a place to study. Again, serves me right.

To my relatives & my parents' colleagues, I beg for your consideration to accept this reality. To you, I might seem to be a bright genius. But in the end, I'm just an ordinary human being. I'm far from being flawless.

To my fellow P3ians, go ahead. Laugh at me. Seriously, just laugh at me. I deserved it. I'm certainly not the best leader, if not the worst. It just that, I had enough of getting involved in leadership stuff, after spending 10 out of 11 years in school doing that (starting from Darjah 1). My attitude as you see is so not suits the role of a group leader.

I deeply regret the very tinee-tiny effort I've made to be better while in PASUM. A little more should be enough for me to do some first-degree assignment right at this moment. But it didn't happen. I regret that, for I eventually causing trouble to the people around me.

But, there are some things that I'll never regret.
That includes entering PASUM.
320 days of colourful moments. New friends (& luckily no new enemy).
Nope, no regret.

And during this very rough period, saying "thank you" is just not enough.

To Abah & Umi, thank you for still loving me even after the devastating failures I've presented to you. You just occasionally show that love, 'coz I know you want to see if I really have the same feeling & if I can really prove it. I'm sorry for being such a nuisance. I know that I should seek a job for a while right now as you wish, but I'm still hesitated to get out of the comfort zone. Pray for my strength so I can break that barrier.

To KakLong, Syakir & Syida, God knows just how grateful am I to have you as my siblings. As we grew up, we rarely see each other in the name of study life, but it genuinely makes me happy to have you around me. You have your own ways to understand me. We make that crazy antics together, & it feels great to me.

To Jamhuri, you've grown up excellently. Even when you're now making your way to the top of the world literally, you still treat me like the same old Syafiq you love to tease back in the BGP. You've once said back in SAMURA, "Syafiq, aku nak jadi macam kaulah." Now, the table has turned. Jamhuri, I want to be like you.

To Mustaffa, we definitely have such a rare contact. But I know you're a very protective person. Inside that 'sado' figure, there's a very responsible & preserved soul only a few can see. We registered into SAMURA together back in February 2, 2010. Your physical strength  blends well with your inner decency.

To Hanafi, from Jalan Genuang to Tanjung Agas, then to Lembah Pantai. Sometimes you seems like doesn't handle certain intense situation quite well. But, your endless effort for a better life can be seen here & there. You hold what I'll consider as my crazy inner side. Keep calm & live your life as it is.

To those who support me, thank you. That's what I need for the time being. Go & create a marvellous journey. I'll follow you up later.

But ultimately, the biggest thank you & sorry I should say is to the Almighty.
Thank you Allah for giving me the chance to live my life, & to allow me to seek for righteousness in the end.
I'm sorry Allah for disobey you at any (if not all) point of my life. Forgive me for all the sins I've committed.

For now, I have to believe in one thing:

I really hope that the above quote can be a reality in my life context.

M.S.A.S.
October 28, 2013
12.55 a.m.

#LuaskanKuasamu

Ketika 'blog post' ini sedang ditaip, saya sudah boleh (walau pun terpaksa) menjangkakan bahawa rezeki belum memihak pasukan Johor Darul Takzim (JDT) untuk ke peringkat separuh akhir Piala Malaysia. Jangkaan yang sama juga terpaksa dibuat ketika peringkat akhir Piala FA baru-baru ini. Apa yang menariknya (or is it?), dalam kedua-dua perlawanan ini, JDT bertemu dengan musuh yang sama iaitu kuasa besar bola sepak Pantai Timur, Kelantan. Apa boleh buat, kan... *huhu*

Namun, dalam sibuk merintih akan perjuangan JDT yang terhenti di situ, saya cuba mencari hikmah di sebaliknya, and guess what? I found many silver linings related to it.

- JDT melalui proses penjenamaan semula dalam tempoh masa kira-kira setahun (maaf andai tersilap fakta) hasil inisiatif Tunku Mahkota Johor yang dihormati rakyatnya, Tunku Ismail ibni Sultan Ibrahim. Dalam durasi itu sahaja, transformasi & reformasi besar-besaran telah mengambil tempat sehingga JDT menjadi tumpuan seluruh negara. Mustahil rasanya sekarang ini jika tidak menyebut JDT bila bercakap pasal bola sepak tempatan, tak kiralah sama ada cerita baik atau pun buruk.

- Hal ini telah berjaya menyatukan rakyat Johor dalam satu/dua aspek, & lebih hebat lagi apabila gerakan penyokong pasukan Johor secara amnya iaitu Boys of Straits (BOS) menjadi 'pencabar' utama kepada penyokong dari negeri-negeri lain setiap kali kelibat mereka kelihatan. Media antarabangsa juga turut meletakkan BOS sebagai setaraf dengan kelab penyokong bola sepak Eropah.

Bayangkan, semua ini berlaku dalam tempoh yang singkat. Tak pernah rasanya di Malaysia ini ada pasukan bola sepak yang baru dijenamakan semula boleh meningkat naik dengan begitu cepat, & that's why I'm proud to be a Johorean. Bukan setakat kerana pasukan bolanya sahaja, malah lebih daripada itu.

Lagi satu; Ya, JDT mungkin kalah di peringkat domestik, but here's a thing:

Apabila perpindahan Pablo Aimar ke JDT bagi musim 2014 berlangsung, media global berpusu-pusu memberi tumpuan tentangnya, & apabila nama JOHOR DARUL TAKZIM itu sendiri terpampang di akhbar serta dibaca oleh warga Argentina, Portugal, Turki, China, India, Indonesia & Itali (just to name a few), sebenarnya JDT sudah pun menang.

Proses mengantarabangsakan jenama JDT diakui amat berjaya, & itu merupakan sesuatu yang lebih signifikan. Memenangi mana-mana piala di Malaysia hanyalah satu simbolik pengukuh kepada peningkatan jenama JDT ini. Dalam nada yang agak sinis analoginya, mungkin ada yang boleh berbangga jika pasukan mereka menang Piala Malaysia, namun itu sudah semestinya tidak setanding dengan kemampuan JDT untuk diberi perhatian oleh media global. Yalah, menang piala pun tak adalah gah mana andai tiada media luar yang membuat liputan tentangnya, bukan? (no offence, BTW) :-)

In a nutshell, the tagline 'Luaskan Kuasamu' has already been globally (I repeat, GLOBALLY) justified. Nama penuh sebuah negeri di Malaysia muncul di akhbar-akhbar seantero dunia.

Bergenang gelora di Pantai Lido,

Nama JDT seluruh dunia, kau hado?

Take that, fellas!

Musim 2014 akan menjanjikan kemunculan JDT yang lebih gah; insya-Allah. Seperti juga semangat Phoenix yang menebal di dalam diri ini (well, I must maintain my Bestari spirit), begitu juga tekad & azam dalam pasukan JDT serta Johor FA yang akan bangkit menambah kegirangan liga bola sepak di Malaysia ini amnya.

Keep calm & Expand Your Power.

Wassalam.

Kuasa Gen Y

Salam sejahtera & selamat datang ke bulan Oktober. 

Baiklah, rasanya elok saya buka tirai blog ini untuk bulan ke-10 tahun 2013 dengan dua paparan yang saya rasakan menarik untuk dilihat & dinilai. Saksikan dahulu, ya.

OK, paparan YouTube di atas menunjukkan dua sesi temu bual oleh dua stesen berbeza membabitkan dua orang pemimpin muda dari dua blok siasah yang berlainan. Apa yang menariknya di sini?

Bagi saya, paparan tersebut menzahirkan kedua-dua mereka ini sebagai memiliki karisma yang tersendiri & mudah rasanya untuk didekati oleh golongan muda. O..K.., ada yang mungkin tak jelas signifikasi di situ. Tak mengapa.

Ketika ini, golongan belia merangkumi lebih 40% daripada populasi Malaysia & menjadi sebahagian besar daripada pengundi baharu yang akan mengundi ketika proses pemilihan kerajaan yang seterusnya. Oleh itu, jika mana-mana blok politik di negara ini ingin menambat hati golongan sasar sebegini, maka lebih molek jika pemimpin dari ruang usia yang sama juga diberi tugas berasimilasi dengan mereka.

Daripada video di atas, kedua-dua individu prolifik ini dilihat mampu mencambah minat anak-anak muda untuk lebih dekat & berasa selesa dalam berkomunikasi dengan kedua-duanya. Secara tak langsung, anak-anak muda ini juga akan kurang kegusaran dalam menyuarakan pendapat berkaitan pembangunan komuniti dalam segenap aspek. Lihat sajalah video itu; seorang dengan sikap sporting & mesra remaja, seorang lagi dengan kesantunan & toleransi terhadap perbezaan ideologi. Jika diasah dengan lebih tajam, saya takkan meragui kemampuan mereka berdua untuk membawa generasi Y hari ini ke arah yang lebih baik.

Mungkin juga kuasa generasi Y dalam mencorakkan masa hadapan negara ini akan lebih dominan jika dua personaliti ini berkolaborasi bersama, dengan mengetepikan elemen siasah demi masyarakat. Tak mustahil, bukan? ;-)

Wassalam.